For a very long time, I didn’t think it was possible for me to stand infront of my entire department/class body and talk about this journey.
For months, I would walk into my department and feel tension from certain department faculty and zionist students. From their stares, body language or the way they would talk about me every time I walked by. At one point, I had a mental breakdown underneath a professors desk. It was unbearable, all of it. I say all of this to try to explain what it meant for me to stand infront of my department and present this work.
The mental distress and emotional abuse I experienced dysregulated my entire body. Menally, spirutally, emotionally, phsyically. To this day, I still can’t believe I made this machine while navigating abuse. NYU tried to silence me, isolate me and make an example out of me but what they didn’t see coming is through their tactics, community would and did show up for me.
And that is the silver lining. I didn’t do this nor go through this alone.
Our thesis presentations were suppose to last 10 minutes and it was terribly difficult for me to present this within that time. My presentation lasted 21 minutes and 44 seconds and even then, there were so many things I couldn’t fit in that time frame but I tried my best to say what needed to be said. I was frustrated I couldn’t share this story without a time restraint which is also another reason why I decided to make this website.
I want to honor this work by being as transparent and vulnerable as possible. I want others in these instiutions to see that it is possible to resist. It is possible to speak truth even when these instiutions try their best to silence you. It is possible to use technology for good (especially in a time when it is being used for evil, ex: project lavender).
Another reason why I decided to make this website is because I wanted to give back to my community that saved me. Sharing resources and knowledge is far more valuable than anything an instiution can teach you. I learned that throughout this process.
In honor of Palestine’s steadfast spirit and remarkable resilence and determination, this entire body of work and machine is dedicated to Palestinian liberation. I thank them for opening my eyes and heart. I thank them for fueling me with deeper intention and purpose.
I don’t know what the future holds but if there is one thing I know is that liberation is a lifetime’s work. I am concious that I will wear different roles within this lifetime but for now, I feel rooted on creating musical instruments as extensions of our thoughts, emotions and beliefs that reflect our political and social climate.